- Those results SHOULD be that good. Nearly perfect. It all makes sense.
- Our bioinformatics algorithm worked! We put input in and out came output! Yay! Publishing time.
- Hey, these are statistically significant results. I don’t need to care about how many different ways I tested to see if SOMETHING was significant about them.
- We only need three replicates to come to our conclusions. Really, it’s what everyone does.
- These results don’t look all THAT great, but the biological story is VERY compelling.
- A pilot study can yield solid conclusions, right?
- Biological replicates? Those are pretty much the same as technical replicates, right?
- Awesome! Our experiment eliminated one alternate hypothesis. That must mean our hypothesis is TRUE!
- Model parameters were chosen based on what produced reasonable output: therefore, they are biologically correct.
- The statistics on this comparison just aren’t working out right. If I adjust the background I’m comparing to I can get much better results. That’s legit, right
- Repeating the experiment might spoil these good results I’ve got already.
- The goal is to get the p-value less than 0.05. End.Of.The.Line. (h/t Siouxsie Wiles)
- Who, me biased? Bias is for chumps and those not so highly trained in the sciences as an important researcher such as myself. (h/t Siouxsie Wiles)
- It doesn’t seem like the right method to use- but that’s the way they did it in this one important paper, so we’re all good. (h/t Siouxsie Wiles)
- Sure the results look surprising, and I apparently didn’t write down exactly what I did, and my memory on it’s kinda fuzzy because I did the experiment six months ago, but I must’ve done it THIS way because that’s what would make the most sense.
- My PI told me to do this, so it’s the right thing to do. If I doubt that it’s better not to question it since that would make me look dumb.
- Don’t sweat the small details- I mean what’s the worst that could happen?
Want to AVOID doing this? Check out my previous post on ways to do robust data analysis and the BioStat Decision Tool from Siouxsie Wiles that will walk you through the process of choosing appropriate statistical analyses for your purposes! Yes, it is JUST THAT EASY!
Feel free to add to this list in the comments. I’m sure there’s a whole gold mine out there. Never a shortage of ways to fool yourself.